The art of a schedule or rather what does baby want.

We've been told by different people at different times, the best thing for a baby is to have a schedule. Baby sleeps, baby plays, baby eats, baby takes a bath, baby gets changed, etc. Now how that schedule comes to be is told to us in many forms...there is Happiest Baby, SLEEP, Babywise, Ferberize, Parent directed, baby lead, co-sharing, co-sleeping, attachement theory, your fun old wives tales and of course the just let the baby tell you when they want it.
So now we've tried them. We really have. I don't know if maybe we just got a fussy baby or maybe we aren't doing something right or maybe she's just too young for any of it. All I know is I can't wait until she sleeps.
I hear from my parents "you know they don't write the book on babies, we just had to go with what we figured out". But they do write the books, and they have for years. But they don't write the book for YOUR baby. Every baby is different.
So here we go. Emery will be 5 weeks tomorrow. She on average is on a 3 hour schedule.
She wakes up (screams),
eats about 2 oz (sometimes she pushes out the bottle and cries like she's hurting?), gets burped (sometimes she burps sometimes she doesn't?)
goes into milk coma,
gets woken up with a diaper change (screams),
gets to "play" (on her mat looking up at her toys from her back, she basically stares off into space not even looking at the toys while we take her hands and slap the toys with them and turn her head to look at them OR tummy time this can be blood curdling screams while she attempts to lift her head and inchworm her way off the blanket or its nothing and she just lays there like a rock),
then we read to her or dance with her or put her in the bouncy chair or the swing,
Next is being swaddled
then she gets another oz of food (she won't eat 3 oz at once yet)
Then she gets rocked or if she's fallen asleep she gets put down.
Here is a kicker about an hour into her sleep she wakes up (screaming) and we have to soothe her back to sleep or if its really bad she has to be picked up and its time to eat again, bringing the whole schedule off and now onto a new schedule.
When do you eat, sleep, brush your teeth, shower yourself? How do parents get thru this time? When do you get a smile or some sort of interaction?
Look I am not unappreciative of my baby girl. I love her more than I can even describe. But these books do nothing for me. They give me tips and tricks that sometimes work sometimes don't work. People tell me what they did for their child, sometimes works sometimes doesn't work. Schedules...they may work for you, but they aren't yet working for me. And Lord knows in a few months I am sure I will be saying schedule and this worked for us, that didn't work. But again every baby is different.
But if someone could tell me...when am I going to get 5 hours of sleep...or even 8 hours?
Oh and don't knock it...but co-sleeping...I love being next to my baby all night. I don't care if we are making it a habit (by the way you can't spoil or make a habit in a newborn, at least they say until they are 4 months old) even if she sleeps with us till she's a teenager, I don't care...I love her, I love her breathe, I love her grunts, I love her smell and her warmth and I love that if she cries I am right there to reasure her that nothing is going to happen to her that she is safe and taken care of and I can quickly figure out what she needs and get it for her.
Advise..I'll take it, leave it on the blog, email me, text me, facebook me...I don't care. What can we do to get more hours of sleep out of her? What do you use? Did you follow a method? When does it get easier?
Oh and a second miracle...I don't know about that yet...