Happy 3 Weeks!

Today Emery is 3 weeks old. We've had our ups and downs. From the lack of sleep, to trying to establish a schedule. Things I have learned so far, never say I want to do this exclusivly...ie I want to breastfeed only, I want the baby to sleep in her crib/bassinet only. Those get thrown out the window when you are sleep deprived and your nerves can't handle another scream.
Our Emery...well her little personality, she doesn't just wake up all cute and grunt for food, she goes from sleeping to screaming in a split second and there is no calming her down until you get a bottle in her mouth. Our night "schedule" is coming together...the closet door stays open with the light on, so that we don't have to turn the big light on when she wakes. She wakes up about every 2.5-3 hours,I grab the pre filled bottles, mix the formula (yes I am no longer breastfeeding), add in a couple of drops of gas drops, mix it up, I pick her up out the bassinet, unswaddle her, stick the changing pad under her bottom, grab a clean diaper, a wipe, change as quick as possible, she screams the whole time..then boom we sit up, prop up the bottle into her mouth and she starts sucking it down. About 1/2 way thru I break the suction and try to burp her, after a few mins I lay her down and swaddle her back up, stick back in the bottle and let her finish it off, only to try and burp her again and then when she passes out (burping her puts her to sleep) I lay her back down in the bassinet and try to fall asleep knowing I will be up in another 2 hours or so to do it again.
Emery has her good days, where she sticks to a 3 hour schedule and she is happy...then there are days like today where no matter what you do she won't sleep, she's grouchy and she screams half the day. I also found today that she likes to take a bath with me in the tub. That way she can float around and be held and be warm the whole time. And speaking of saying I won't do that..I said I would not put my child on her stomach to sleep. All the SIDS horror stories you hear...but I did it and now she's sleeping...of course she is in the bassinet right beside me and i am watching her every move. Just to make sure she is ok...and I wouldn't do it at night while I am sleeping...but hey anything to make sure she sleeps and isn't screaming!

I realized upon reading back on this blog that I don't need to do a baby album because I have this blog to give to my daughter to tell her all about her life!

We have Roll Over

I've been told that this should be the happiest time of our lives. Don't get me wrong we are happy, I am happy. But this is rough. We were working on a good 3 hour schedule for a couple of days. It was becoming habit. Then all of a sudden here we are and every hour baby is up. And not just a little cry here and there but screaming like she's being poisoned. Gas maybe? Doesn't like the formula? Not swaddled tight enough? Too tight? To hot? To cold? Needs a diaper change? Indigestion? Reflux? Believe me I continue to ask myself all of these questions. She is consolable. If you pick her up, pat her back, rock her or let her sleep on you. So since we are just trying to survive that's what we do. Anything to help her not to cry. Her cries pierce my heart. I'll do anything to take away her pain, her sadness.
Due in part to the lack of sleep, I am feeling quite out of sorts. I am sad, stressed, I worry all the time, I watch the video mointer just to make sure she's ok, I can't sleep, I'm nervous, when I do sleep I wake up with a start not knowing how long I've been down and if she's not crying I put my hand on her to feel her breathe. Yep I've lost it.
But the other 50% of me is so happy. I stare at her all the time. Taking in her beauty, her "smiles", just waiting to see her dimple, hoping to catch a glimpse of a personality. I dream about her future and what she will be like. I take in her scent and kiss her all the time, even when she is screaming. I want her to feel all of my love all of the time.
I've been thrown up on, had to clean poop off my hand, peed on, and my neck and nose have been gnawed on. And I love it.
Today, tonight Emery was laying in her crib and her Father watched as she "rolled" over onto her stomach for the first time. Nearly 3 weeks old. She is one special little girl!

2 weeks/Great Vocals

Emery's 2 week apointment went pretty good. She is now 6lbs and 19.25 inches. Growing like a weed, yet still smaller than the average newborn. She had to have her foot pricked and blood test done for the State. Poor baby her newly found volcal cords pierced the entire Dr's office.
We are trying the "babywise" method, though I don't think its working...or just not working fast enough. Plus I don't think I stick to it well enough. I just can't stand to hear her cry. Poor baby, she isn't old enough to cry it out. So I pick her up and give her all of my love. Last night was spent just letting her sleep on my chest all night. Yep I am a sucker. But I love her!
We think she may be going thru a small growth spurt. She is eating about 2 oz every 2-3 hours. Staying awake for about 15 mins, then she passes out and sleeps for about 1.5-2.5 hours. I am so ready for the 5 hour mark...but for now I am just doing what needs to be done...as the Dr says, Survival Mode!
The Darling Mr is sleeping in the guest room so that he can function at work. Last week he woke up in the middle of the night and from lack of sleep was freaking out thinking Emery was at the foot of the bed. While funny now that we look back, wasn't so funny when he could barely function. Sleep deprevation is a form of tourture!
We also had our first taste of major spit up..Emery decided to eat a little too much food and bam it all came out.
The topic of discussion around out house revolves around food, poop and baby.
The best thing about our friends is the amount of support they have offered. We have so many great friends and are so thankful for them all. we've had dinner brought to us nearly every night and its all so good. Plus emails and phone calls just to see how we are, offer advise and offer help. Thank you to all of our friends.

So this blog post seems to be all over the place now that I try to read back over it. The joys of a 2 week old.

Emery's Ear Piece

Last week at the Baby's Doctor visit, the Dr said that her ear needed to be looked at by a professional. And after much research and two Drs confirming we have found that our perfect little miracle has a small problem with her ear. It did not form properly in the womb. It is very minor but needs to have a Plastic device to help her ear reform. She has "lidding with incomplete formation of the superior limb of the triangular fossa". Basically the top of her ear is folded down and slightly pointy.
So after much crying and lots more money we have gotten her an ear molding device and it was put on today by a local cosmetic doctor. I cried, hard...of course as a Mother you think, what did I do, was it those days I missed my vitamins (feeling sick), was it because I kept working, kept moving, ate that hot dog? No Mother can not question what she may have done wrong in order for something to happen to their little baby.
The Dr said it is typically genetic. Humm I wonder who in my family has funny looking ears? In the darling Mr's family? I guess we will never know because it could have been generations ago.
I can't stand the way this big plastic thing looks on my little gourgous baby. I don't want pictures of her with this thing on and I don't want anyone to see her. I feel awful for my baby. Course at the sametime I know it could be so much worse and so much harder and I shouldn't worry about it, no one makes fun of an infant right?
We did this because in the future I do not want her self esteem to ever faulter over something I could fix and I don't want anyone to ever make fun of her for something so minor. So its done, we started it, it will be on for at least 5 weeks possibly 8 weeks.
I love my baby more than anything in the whole world and would do anything to make her life better and easier for her in her future.

10 days old...my cord is gone

So after a rough day of being up every hour on the hour yesterday, today is a better day. Emery is sleeping about two to two and a half hours at a time and eating on both sides now. Go Emie go!

This morning at her 2am feeding I noticed her cord was partially off and hanging and then at her 10:45Am feeding I found it. It feel off. There is still some left in her belly button though? Not sure what to do about that...guess I got some Googling to do.

Time for a Mommy nap!

Emery's 1 week old

This week has flow by and I now understand why Mothers' say take it slow and enjoy it goes by so fast.
So one week has gone by and here is the updates.
Emery has gained back 4 oz and is close to being back to her original weight.
She still doesn't fit in regular newborn clothes..that's probally a good thing, cause now she can wear them longer! We recieved from my Mom a couple of premie outfits so she is good for now. Mostly she wears baby sacks and tee shirts anyway.
Her bilirubin (Jaundice test) came back clear she has beautiful skin and doesn't show any signs of jaundice.
Emie is a good baby. She sleeps pretty well, though we have had a bad night here and there. That is frustrating without sleep and she seems so miserable. Its hard on Mommy and Daddy to see her so upset. We hate to see her cry and be uncomfortable.
We've had a few issues with breast feeding so I pump when she doesn't take and then I have bottles for those times also. She is good with either, but find she sleeps much better without the bottles.
We are those people who take thousands of pictures and send them to our family and friends. Emery is all we can talk about and be all about.
She still hasn't been around many people, of course I am scared, she hasn't had her shots and is sooo tiny at 5lbs 6 oz. I don't want her to get sick.
I check on her all the time when she is sleeping just to make sure she is breathing and comfortable. Yep I am a freak! Or overly cautious Mommy.
Tomorrow will be Em and I's first day at home alone together. I am scared but happy all at the same time.
I guess its time to change the title of my blog...as someone pointed out..I have hatched and have a miracle in my arms.

Baby World Week 1

03/17/2011 Happy St. Patrick's Day world. Emery and I are being released from the hospital. Oh my..now we get to take care of her on our own. No baby nursery, no help no 3 meals and snacks whenever we want them anymore!

We drove home SLOWLY. Watching every person near us. Baby did great, even though at 5lbs 2 oz she barely fits in her car seat! LOL! She looks like Thumbalina. She is so tiny and full term to boot. I am guessing tiny girl for a long time. She fits in none of her newborn clothes. So everything just hangs on her for now.

Got home and introduced Sammy the Wondermutt to the baby. He licked her once and then smelled her alot. He is already pacing all the time when she makes noises and wants to see in her bed to make sure she is ok. I love that dog!

1st night goes ok. Baby doesnt nurse well, she doesn't like to latch so I do alot of pumping. I want her to get as much breast milk as possible. Even if I have to give her formula soon I want her to have what I can offer now, even if its thru a bottle!

Friday and Daddy has to go to work for the 1st time. Poor Mr. he looked so sad leaving her this morning. And he's texted about her already. I am guessing he is going to come home early to be with his baby girl.

Friday has been a rough day for baby. She hasn't slept much and has been doing alot of crying. Mommy hasn't slept much either. I haven't cried yet but I am sure that's coming soon.

My surgery hurts but I deal with the pain well. I try not to take pain meds just because I want to be aleart and ready if Emery needs me.

Gosh I am so tired.

Yes we are those people that take pictures of everything she does, every moves she makes and all her facical expressions.

Birth Day

03/14/2011
5:30AM is too early for anyone to be up. Much less someone who hasn't slept much in weeks and nothing the night before. But there we were on the way to the hospital. We checked in and got settled into the labor room. The things I remember...a little paperwork, lots of questions over and over, mointers, nurses, the Dr visiting, the drug doctor visiting, my Dad and my Uncle (who came as a surprise) visiting, my friend visiting, and being really really scared.

7:30AM off to the OR. Get in and its time for the long dreaded shot in the back for the epidoral and the spinal block. Well the first stick goes in, wholly noooo that burned. Then they are placing the epi and having a hard time, apparently my back is shaped weird and they can't get it placed. So after three tries and lots of pressure and a couple of this may make you jump (um yeah) they get it settled and my body goes limp. Off to have the baby.

8:00 AM incsions start and it smells funny. Dr remarks that everything is going great. Then I hear it, babys out, its a girl, shes so little and cute, she starts crying and doesn't stop, Mr is smiling and taking picutres, he goes off to be with baby and there isn't much talk but baby is crying. Mr brings her over to me and I am crying. I love her already. All I can think is she is so tiny she looks like a doll is she real. She is real, her voice and lungs make that real.

8:16AM welcome to the world Emery Ruth! 18 inches long 5 lbs 9 oz at birth. Her tempature is low so she has to be put under a heating lamp.


8:30ish? They bring me into recovery and bring Emery into nurse. She latches right away. This and a few other times over the next few days then it gets hard to do this.

12ish Grandparents get to meet her for the first time. I am a little out of it and tired. Emery is tired. Daddy is tired. But everyone is happy.

Welcome to the world my little miracle!

week 39 time to have baby

So this week is not only week 39 but also was week to have baby. On Friday people kept telling me I was looking like I was having a boy. Yeah I kinda freaked out. Told the hubby that we needed to think of boys names just in case. Came up with one and thought well at least we have a go to name and if its a boy he's going to have to wear pink and purple! LOL!
I was in a lot of pain having on and off contractions. But they were spradiac and so they didn't mean much.
Sat night the Mr and I had our "final" date night. We went to a cute little steak house in town. Its this old house that is converted to a resturant complete with a piano bar. The food was so good and I cannot wait to go back! Then we went to a late movie. Yes big pregnant woman at a movie at 9:50PM was probally not a good idea. Boy I was tired. We saw that new Matt Damon film, the Adjustment Bureau. It was decent. I expected more action for some reason.
Sunday both sets of parents have arrived.
Monday is Birth Day.

38 weeks...yes that was last week

Sorry sorry. Last week I was 38 weeks. Everything is fine. Baby is fine, Momma is fine, except tired and cranky. I know the Mr. wants his wife back, he is tired of hearing that I am tired and fat and uncomfortable. I am at home and no longer working which is great, the poor girls at work I am sure am happy I am not there to complain! I've caught up on the DVR shows that I had and read an entire book. I've also set up the computer on the sofa so I don't have to move much. I take time and clean up a few mins every couple of hours. Just trying to keep everything up to date and clean. I've been cooking too. So the Mr. is happy. Lots of food in the fridge.
And here ya go...belly at 38 weeks...